I’m sure you have already heard the sentence “I need time to find myself”. Usually people use it as an excuse too back away from their everyday struggle. But actually there is a real and deep meaning behind it. You don’t believe me? So how many New Year’s resolutions have you made in your life just to end up disappointing yourself by the end of the year?
1. Status Quo
So what does it mean to find oneself? In fact it does mean to find one owns purpose and be in tune with yourself. When you don’t know the purpose of your life, there will be a certain insecurity around you. The real problem is that many people are too afraid to give up the known life to seek their true purpose. They fear failure and end up living an unsatisfying life. They stay stuck in the status quo.
Although it feels comfortable, the status quo is the notorious and dangerous comfort zone. Even if you feel safe being there, this zone sucks you in like a swamp. Everything around you, but your comfort zone, is in constant change, movement and growth. The longer you stay in there the farther away you get from your goals. The comfort itself it’s what makes it dangerous. By feeling safe and well you don’t see the need of changing, even though we don’t get any closer to our goals. So why do most people prefer to stay there?
Leaving the status quo is not that easy, because it means you have to take action and make an effort. Well, every reasonable person would choose comfort over effort. Nobody likes pain, but there are still these strange people, that go out of the comfort zone, even if the weather forecast foretells rain. There are two main reasons, why they pick the journey over the status quo.
2. Peer Pressure And Influence From The Outside
We live in a world full of information, and we process most of it subconsciously. Most people live without questioning their environment and particularly themselves. Why do most people write with the right hand? Why do we shake hands to greet each other? Why do we even greet each other? Banal questions, don’t you think? But think for a moment, why do you do it? Because you adapted yourself to it.
People adapt to their environment and live without wondering why they do it, because they learn, that the behavior in which they grow up is normal. We learn that doing something else apart from the “normal” isn’t appropriated and so we remain stuck in there.
Every time you’ll try to go out of the rational respectively normal zone, your environment will automatically start to fight you. Not to be accepted, is guaranteed not the prettiest feeling in the world. And so we avoid the areas outside the comfort zone. Successful people know that the opinions of others have only so much power over them as they allow it. It’s not that they love the pain, but they know that it’s worth it. They know that if they don’t act, they will deprive humanity of something. Each of us has something that we can contribute to the world. Imagine a world in which everyone contributes his best for the sake of humanity.
3. Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive dissonance is in psychology, an unpleasant emotional state caused by the fact that a person has multiple cognitions, perceptions, thoughts, opinions, attitudes, wishes or intentions, which are mutually incompatible.
Imagine a smoker. He knows that smoking is unhealthy. One day the physician tells him if he doesn’t stop smoking, he will get cancer. However, the smoker continues. The theory of cognitive dissonance explains this behavior pattern. As smoking triggers a certain “positive” feeling of happiness in a smoker, his brain connects it with something positive. So that means that a smoker brains connects quitting smoking with something negative. When the doctor tells him to stop smoking, it will induce an unpleasant feeling to him (the dissonance) and he will start coming up with excuses why he shouldn’t quit smoking, so that the dissonance can stop.
The cognitive dissonance is a strong phenomena and it’s one of the main reasons why some people keep coming up with excuses of why they can’t leave their comfort zone.
In order to start your journey, you’ll need to get over this psychological barriers and learn how to control them. Don’t let your brain command you, but rather take command over it. Stay strong and commit yourself to whatever you want to do. Now that you know the weapons of the comfort zone, you are ready to go on a journey .